Buried Alive

Forgiveness liberates the soul, that is why it is such a powerful weapon. – Nelson Mandela

I get regular massages. I have years of stress and tension I carry in my body. For me to function well, it’s a necessary event. When I arrive, the therapist will ask how they can help. I always point them to my shoulders and neck. They may begin to work there, but often they find their way down to the middle of my back. It HURTS. Why are they always finding pain I didn’t know existed?

The other day I received a text from a friend that really caught me off-guard. She didn’t mean to, but she put her fist right in the middle of hidden pain and pressed in hard. I immediately emotionally reared up, pulled back, then cried out in pain. HEY GOD! What is happening here? I thought we dealt with that already? Apparently not.

Ok Sherylyn, you know what to do hear. Breathe through the hurt, release, forgive, release, forgive, rinse and repeat.

A few days later I was lying in bed just slowly waking up. My sweet husband had woken early, moved our 3 dogs out of the room and downstairs so I could rest. I had retrieved my phone from the bedside and was scrolling through email when a Facebook IM notification came through. From a friend who I had not heard from in 9 years. Our friendship ended poorly with me really hurting her. I was in a very bad transitional place in my life. I pretty much hurt everyone close to me. Years of hidden pain broke the dike I had built and spilled over like acid damaging me and everyone near me.

When her name popped up I just stared. HEY GOD! What is happening here? I am not ready for this. I didn’t open it for several minutes. I had to brace myself. When I finally built up the courage to read her message, I was blown away. She was asking for MY forgiveness. WHAT? But I was the one that hurt her, I was the one that needed forgiveness. Thus, the exchange of pardon and offerings proceeded and washed over hidden places in our hearts. And another miracle, in God’s perfect timing he had arranged for me to be traveling to her city that very week. O, how He loves us!

Have you ever scrolled through YouTube and seen those videos my Doctor Pimple Popper? Come on, I know I am not the only one who has wandered into the weird side of YouTube. Is it just me? Yes? No? OK, well allow me to enlighten you. This doctor is a dermatologist. She works with people to clean up old cysts and weird skin issues. Some are obvious – a giant infected pimple on the forehead of an elderly patient. An odd hump on someone’s back that needs to be removed. Sometimes, it’s a hidden pustule. From the surface barely visible to the untrained eye, once breached it yields its content, putrid and fowl.

This is just as true of hidden sin or pain in our lives. Left unaddressed, it is buried alive and will certainly resurface in due time. Left untouched as was said of Lazarus, “By this time he stinketh.” John 11:39. Until we bring it to the Throne of Grace, or until the Great Physician skillfully reveals the concealed injury, we are left with sadness, guardedness, hurt feelings, depression, judgement, anger, and anxiety. It stinks to high heaven and infects those around us.

When we are saved, the Holy Spirit comes in and does a major clean up job. No matter how dramatic the conversion may seem, we are not made perfect. There is a working out of our salvation. A continual cleaning process. Matthew 5:13-16 says, “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. We aren’t working for our salvation, rather like lifting weights, we are working it out, growing stronger in our faith. Your salvation isn’t the end of your spiritual journey—it’s the catalyst that turns on your “operation mode.” Part of that work out process is a cleanse that can reveal putrid matter.

We have a promise in Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” He’s not done with us! My life has been littered with mistakes—my own mistakes and the mistakes of others. And in every one of those incidents, God came along, picked up the litter, and put it back together in a way that transformed it into a monument for faith. I can look back and say, “It was at that very point, in the midst of that adversity, that this part of my character began to grow and my relationship with God really deepened.” Hellen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

What we shouldn’t do is stay frozen in our suffering or rebury it. Doing so will only prolong the suffering until once again it is raised to the surface to be addressed. “If only . . .” is a haunting phrase. When you dare to see the truth and accept responsibility for your life, you may feel sad and ashamed. You may regret your irresponsibility and destructive behavior and wish to erase the past. The Bible is full of stories of regret. The process of spiritual renewal may occasionally be painful. When you confess the truth about yourself, it hurts. But as you begin to see the truth, speak the truth, and accept responsibility for your life, you’ll discover the great relief and hope that God offers.